When ever I’m bored in class, I like to make lists. It’s never something I do if I’ve brought my laptop. (In that case, I’m probably browsing celebrity gossip sites, facebook-stalking or talking on gchat. Because I’m seventeen years old at heart, I can’t bring myself to get distracted by important things like news during class. Most of my serious internet-browsing is done first thing in the morning, so by my evening classes, it’s time to trade awesome/appalling .gifs with friends or comment on the ridiculousness of the Twilight franchise.) But when I don’t bring my laptop, my mind still wanders. That’s when I start writing. There’s something about about a handwritten list that appeals to my inner control freak.

Usually my lists are mundane. I like to write my address. I list all my former roommates (there have been a lot, somewhere in the double digits, if you count everyone I lived with during camp.) I write my name and practice my autograph. Today, I made a list of all my crushes and how long I’d liked them. (That last one was less on the mundane side and more on the “how long has it been since I didn’t have a crush?” side. Answer: never. Since the sixth grade, I’ve pretty much switched from dude to dude in an almost scarily immediate fashion.)

Today’s entry features such a list, except it’s much more important and exciting. It’s a list of things I’d want in my very own fantasy world. It’s a kind of blue print for my ideal adventure story. Given what was relevant to my interests at the time, I’d guess this world was something like “Gundam Wing” crossed with “Star Wars.” KEEP BEING AWESOME, 13-YEAR-OLD SELF.

11/6/00

*My World*

* mobile suits

* Oz

* space colonies

* alliance

* people

– Jessie

– Kit

– Polly (maybe)

– Becca

– Emily (maybe)

– others

* we’d all be in Oz

* I shoot someone out of an airplane (yeah, baby!)

* I have a bf

– some one smart

– confident

– cool

– hot

– a lot like Treize but better looking!!!

* also, maybe Polly and Em would be space pirates like Ryoko or something

* I never die

* I’m 21

* long dark brown hair

* thin

* taller

* interesting

* green-blue eyes

* white skin

* perfect mess-free hair

* a limo (black & silver)

– jet

– boat

– motorcycle

* wouldn’t my world rock!!

* a maid (or two)

* confident

* sexy (but not too sexy)

* my bf should live

To understand some of this list, you’ll need to understand that my obsession with “Gundam Wing” had little to do with the five attractive young dudes who were supposed to be the heroes. Instead, I focused on the four villains who ran an evil (but awesome) dictatorship called “Oz.” In one particular scene, the female head of Oz, Lady Une, is travelingon the evil dicatorship equivalent of “Air Force One,” admonishing an underling for messing up a top-secret mission. In the middle of her speech, she pushes some sort of “eject” button and the floor rolls back, causing the guy to fall to his death from hundreds of feet. Just to make sure, she shoots him mid-flight. I thought this was the pinacle of badass.

You can watch a clip here, but the dialogue is in Japanese. I don’t think you really need English to understand the truly ridiculous and unnecessary events.

I like the parts of the list that are crossed out. It’s like I denied some people from being part of my AMAZING world because they stole my favorite glitter eye shadow that day or something.

Particularly amusing are the goals for my own personal appearance. Thanks to tweezers and hairspray (and the fashion evolution that moved us from sparkle hair gel to summer scarves), I’ve managed to improve my appearance tenfold. I am neither taller nor thinner, but I’m OK with that. I’m not sure how I rank on the sexy/not too sexy scale, but I did have an unfortunate love affair with my cleavage during sophomore year of undergrad.

Also, who really wants to be 21? My 21 sucked, minus the whole legal drinking thing. I spent most of it being really, really bitter about my love life, when I wasn’t attempting to fix my problems by hitting on lots of guys in bars and then ditching them at the end of the night.

My boyfriend qualities are actually somewhat decent. Minus the part where he should be a lot like an anime character who happens to be an evil dictator. I managed to list actual personality qualities. This is somewhat disturbing, considering my “ideal man” list from tenth grade involves almost no personality qualities, but very important items such as “can throw a punch with a closed fist” and “wears khaki.” We’ll get to that list, I promise!

So, that’s my ideal world. Apparently it involves space pirates and badassery and evil dictator boyfriends.

I’d be lying if a little part of me still didn’t want the things on that list.

After all, I’ve yet to achieve perfect mess-free hair.